


Kitchen Nightmares

by lilolilyrae



Series: The 666 Words Ineffable Husbands Series [37]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Bad Cooking, Cooking, Dining at the Ritz (Good Omens), Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Other, Snake! Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-02 08:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20272849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae
Summary: Aziraphale attempts to cook...Works as a standalone fic!





	Kitchen Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Crowley, once again, just wants to sleep. (I feel like that's the summary to like 5 fics already xD)

Crowley is basking in the afternoon sun shining through the kitchen windows, head buried under his tail to keep out the light. He is almost asleep when he hears someone come in.

Untangling himself and lifting his head, he sees Aziraphale- the angel doesn't notice him, nose buried in a book as always.

However-this one is a cooking book.

_Oh-oh_, Crowley thinks. He knows Aziraphale's attempts at 'cooking' well enough by now to know that he better stays here-and stays alert- in case something happens...

But the sun is so nice... warm... Aziraphale cluttering around in the kitchen actually kind of a soothing sound...

Subconsciously, Crowley closes his eyes, slides his snout back under his scales to block out the light, and seconds later, he is asleep.

He wakes up with a jolt when a loud noise echoes through the room.

Shocked, Crowley tries to look up, forgets his snake-y body for a second and falls down, transforming to his human shape before he hits the ground. 

"Ouch! 'Ssszira, whatthhefuck?!"

Staring at the chaos in front of him, he barely even notices that he is naked- must've forgotten to miracle up clothes in the unexpected transformation.

"Oh, Crowley, I'm so sorry-" Aziraphale cries, fidgeting with a wooden spoon. "I didn't see you there, I didn't mean to scare you, well, I didn't mean for any of this to happen, you see? Oh, now your kitchen is _ruined_..." The poor angel looks close to tears.

Crowley does see. Apparently, a pot exploded, destroying everything in its vicinity and spreading its content- some kind of sauce? At least it has the consistency of one, although Crowley isn't sure that's what it was supposed to be...And why is it purple?- all over the walls.

Anyhow.

"It'ss okay, angel, we'll just miracle it away" Crowley snaps his fingers a few times, cleaning up the food and rubble and restoring the pots and trinkets to their normal clean state.

"Long as you're alright... Can't have you getting discorporated, angel, fairly certain that'd be more than just inconvenient this time"

A sense of _urgentness_ is creeping into his voice as he says that, and Aziraphale immediately let's his hands sink, miracling away the spoon.

"Oh, Crowley... I truly didn't mean to scare you like that. I was careful, please believe me when I say I would not be quite that incautius- I had a miracle ready to keep everything away from me."

Crowley nods, slightly shakily.

Aziraphale draws him into a hug, and, upon noticing the other's state of undress, miracles up what he knows is one of Crowley's favorite type of dress.

"Will you go to the Ritz with me tonight? I probably won't manage to cook anything decent anymore, today..." The angel mumbles.

"Alright, and next time you do attempt to cook ask me first and I'll help."Crowley says fiercely.

Aziraphale laughs: "Oh of course dearest, but are you sure that would make the situation _less_ chaotic?"

Crowley gives him a burning look. "You don't know everything about me, angel"

Aziraphale crooks his neck. Does his demon have a hidden talent? Before he can ask, Crowley just rolls his eyes and takes Aziraphale's jacket from the counter.

"Let's go then, angel"

Aziraphale smiles softly "Of course, my dear boy."

At the Ritz, Crowley and Aziraphale chat about this and that while waiting for their food. After a moment of silence, Crowley leans back in his chair and looks at the other.

"So, I was thinking... Going out dancing wasn't so bad last week, was it?"

Aziraphale looks up, surprised. After all the chaos of the day, he didn't expect the change of topic. "Not bad at all! Do you want to go out again? Oh, sorry but I'm so full now-"

"No, no, angel, don't worry-" Crowley yawns- "tonight I just want to sleep. But in general- do you want to take dancing lessons with me? Like, the ballroom type?" 

Aziraphale beams at him

"Oh really? Of course!"

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned for more...
> 
> Btw who knows, maybe Crowley learned how to cook for gluttony and temptations? XD don't have specific plans for more cooking yet, but maybe I'll get some ideas, it seems to be appreciated enough by you guys :D  
Next up I'll probably get to some more dancing though- leave a comment and I'll let you know when I upload it!
> 
> Prompts are open :)  
And any kind of nice comments always make my day!


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